Deadpool 2 (2018)

I thought that Deadpool 2 was okay. If you liked the first one, you'll have some laughs during this one but it's nothing special by far, not even sure it's worth going to the theatre, you can't really spoil this movie so might as well wait for it to come out on BluRay or hit your favourite streaming service.

The unconventional story and character arc definitely help this movie stand out a little bit and most of the best jokes are references to other properties. There's a nice blink and you'll miss it came that I enjoyed. Other than that, definitely stick around for the two post-credit scenes, it's a nice little cherry on top of the cake. Julian Dennison (the kid from Hunt for the Wilderpeople) basically plays the same character as in the aforementioned movie and he fucking nails it again (although Taika Waititi's humour and script are FAR superior).

In conclusion, if you've got nothing better to do then grab a couple friends (if you have some, I saw it alone, it's okay to see movies alone especially if you order a beer) and head down to any old theatre (really don't need fancy Dolby ATMOS sound or giant screens for this one) to kill some time and hide away from the heat.

I give Deadpool II a solid 7/10.

It's not bad but it's also not great or hilarious.

#MovieReview #MaxWatchesMovies #Deadpool2 #Marvel

Recommendation - Avengers Infinity War (2018)

The most insane global pop culture milestone in the history of entertainment.
Catch up on Marvel movies (if you’re not up to date) and run to the theatre while avoiding spoilers at all costs!

Recommendation - Isle of Dogs (2018)

Got to see "Isle of Dogs" last night, it was absolutely fantastic.

If you love Wes Anderson, you'll love this movie. The animation is absolutely mind-blowing and incredible, I still can't believe it's all done by hand. In my opinion, it was far superior to the majority of multi-million dollar 3D animated projects. Everything about this film is perfect. Everything about it is art. Highly suggest seeing it in theatres if it's playing near-by!

No review since everything about it is good!

P/S
Better than Fantastic Mr. Fox in my opinion.

#MaxWatchesMovies #IsleOfDogs #WesAnderson

Tomb Raider (2018)

Tomb Raider (2018):

Another victim of the "Video Game Movie" curse. I knew this was gonna be a terrible reboot as soon as I saw the trailer but boy, was I in for a treat.

First of all, it boggles my mind as onto how this movie got financed with 94 Million Dollars and got handed to people with barely any experience. Thankfully it's flopping at the box office so we won't see a sequel but whoever is using this project as means of money laundering still got their cash back. Tomb Raider made a pathetic 28Mil domestic and a total of 133Mil worldwide as of this moment.

Now let's move onto the movie itself. The writers and creators of this project had dozens of "Tomb Raider" games to seek inspiration from as well as millions of myths and legends from all around the globe, they picked the weakest concept to be converted into a movie. They chose the 2013 Tomb Raider relaunch of the game series, which focuses on a young Lara Croft going out into the world for the first time and becoming the legend that she is. NOBODY want's to see this as a movie, (I'm assuming) most of us who saw the movie are familiar with the game lore to at least a minimal extent. The developers of the game had to start fresh and make a new Lara without outrage, this movie didn't have to worry about that. Audiences wanted two hours of an epic action-adventure set in exotic locales, following the story of the most badass female hero in the world. Instead, we got to sit through an excruciating and cringy two-hour drama about a whiny, entitled, dumb "teenager" who is repeatedly humiliated at every single task that she attempts on her quest to find and save her daddy. It's not "relatable", it's just bad and sad. Personally, the casting of Alicia Vikander was the first disappointment while the movie was still in production. Why not use Camilla Luddington who the new Lara Croft is based on, played by and voiced by? Why go for a C-List actress in hopes of a higher box-office? Those choices are beyond me. Alicia's Lara reminds me of Kristen Stewart's performance of Bella in the "Twilight" series - lifeless, bland and annoying. Perhaps, it's just the horrendous writing and she's a good actress, I honestly can't tell, however I know for a fact there is lots of wasted potential in this movie. Take Walton Goggins for example, fantastic performance in The Hateful Eight, sub-par performance in Tomb Raider, however, I don't think the script gave the actors much to work with, no room to act or express themselves/their characters in this adaptation.

Literally, everything about the writing in this movie is depressingly bad, characters often speak their motivations, emotions and plot exposition through the blandest, most boring, unnatural dialogue you can possibly imagine. This movie feels like it was written by somebody who's never written a movie before. Oh wait, Geneva Robertson-Dworet who wrote this movie has never worked on a single other movie before. Shocking, I know! You know what's more shocking? She's set to write Marvel's first female-led superhero film "Captain Marvel", as well as "Sherlock Holmes 3" and the upcoming live-action adaptation of "Dungeons & Dragons". I pray to the studio executives and the "big mouse" that they take those movies away from her because they will be a train-wreck otherwise. The other contributing writer of this movie, Alastair Siddons is almost equally inexperienced with 1 movie behind their belt (which sits at a 27% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes).

If you've ever though some movie checks off every single cliche and trope of its genre, whatever movie you have in mind has a new competitor. Tomb Raider is one of the most painfully predictable movies to a point of hilarity. Literally, I was laughing my entire way through this film because it follows it's own formula beat by beat leaving nothing behind. I would honestly say it's as bad but also equally entertaining as "Suicide Squad". To be fair, I would assume that most average moviegoers who are programmed to enjoy their mindless entertainment made by a formula won't even notice anything off and shrug it off as a "decent" movie. However, if you have any amount self-respect and prior knowledge of films, I think it's safe to say this will be a great new addition to your "so bad it's good" collection of movies.

Moving on from that, the action is honestly as boring and predictable as the writing, with some of the best scenes being lifted directly, frame-by-frame from the 2013 video-game. The fighting choreography is equally "meh". The cinematography is also not this movies strong suit, nor are the special effects or acting or production design or anything really. In fact, the movie consists of maybe about 15 minutes of tomb raiding, meaning if you cut this movie down by about an hour and a half, it would make a perfect short film. Also, most importantly, even though nobody wants to see an origin story, that being the crucial part of this movie and it's plot, I'm afraid to say it fails on that promise and there is absolutely no character development at all. Maybe with the exception of cheesy lines such as "You messed with the wrong Croft" and "I guess I'm not that kind of Croft" and Croft this and Croft that and "I'll take two guns please". Get it? It's a reference for nerds like you! This movie beats it's gaming audience in the head with pointless Easter eggs and makes sure to point them out and scream about it as if we're all dumb babies.

My conclusion is that even "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" was significantly better and had its moments unlike the 2018 adaptation of "Tomb Raider". So, if you like learning from "bad Hollywood" or just want to have mindless fun or maybe need to fall asleep on a flight, this movie is for you. If you're a fan of the "Tomb Raider" franchise, be it the games or the movie franchise starring Angelina Jolie, you'll be severely disappointed. If you're a fan of the action-adventure genre and want a thrilling escape from reality, desperately trying to scratch that itch, wanting to feel the way you did when you watched movies like "Indiana Jones", "The Mummy" (original trilogy), "National Treasure" or even "Sahara" then once again, prepare for disappointment.

#MovieReview #MaxWatchesMovies #TombRaider #LaraCroft

---

A SPECIAL "Max Watches Movies" ANNOUNCEMENT: 

Inspired by my viewing experiences, once "Tomb Raider" comes out on Bluray, I will be doing a full commentary track podcast making fun of this movie, in the vein of "Mystery Science Theater" and "Theater Mode", so look forward to that in the near future! I honestly can't wait.

Game Night (2018)

Initially, I thought was going in for a generic action-filled comedy, just for a fun time, I didn't even think I'd bother writing a review of this movie but you might be surprised since my expectations were far surpassed! 

First of all the writing is pretty damn good, the plot makes sense and is filled with fun twists and turns, directions that you wouldn't expect. The characters were human and relatable. The dialogue felt natural, was witty, funny and realistic. Every single plot device and plot-line came back by the end of the movie in a form of a complete story. 

The mixture of types of humour in this flick are also great, very well timed punchlines, good physical comedy and funny use of editing. 

However, my ABSOLUTE favourite part of "Game Night" was the cinematography! The use of the camera is incredible, especially considering the genre and calibre of this picture. The camera is a character that is motivated and serves a purpose, tells a story and conveys emotions and feelings. There were so many shots throughout the film that I would fangirl about, trying to figure out how they were made, think to my self "Oh shit, that's so cool." They made the best use of their technology and it made sense without any gimmicks. Everything from Tilt&Shift shots of the city to make it look like toys, to cool drone shots of cars that felt like a "Need for Speed" game, to clever transitions in between scenes. I cannot wait for this movie to come out on BluRay so that I can sit down and do a breakdown of all the amazing camera work and editing. Completely blown away and fascinated! 

Another thing I really liked about this movie is its sound design and (for the most part) the soundtrack, with the exception of them using "Don't Stop Me Now, by: Queen" which fit the tone but is far too overused in movies every single year.

Overall I really enjoyed my time with this one and would say you should grab all your friends and family, go watch this movie and afterwards grab a couple of drinks and have a game night. You're in for some fun!

#MovieReview #MaxWatchesMovies #GameNight

Thoroughbreds (2018)

By far the most unexpected directorial debut of the year! A fantastic hit by Cory Finley - a Nobel prize winner who’s never worked on any other movie prior! Yes, you heard me right.

Thoroughbreds is a Great, Dark and Suspenseful Comedy with deep morals. This movie is funny, thoughtful, unusual and existential.

As with most of my favourite movies, this was an indie Focus Features film, that I didn’t know much about besides having seen one trailer and remembering nothing except it looking cool. Focus Features always give you something pleasantly surprising that you weren’t quite expecting. 

The cinematography, editing and sound design give this film a very unique feeling, it incorporates elements of European and Art-House cinema that I enjoy and gives it a modern spin from a creative voice who hasn’t been tainted by the system.  

Imagine your darkest fantasy gone too far. A twisted wish. The nightmare after which you wake up feeling relieved that none of it happened. In a weird way that's some of the emotions that this movie evokes. If you enjoyed "The End of the Fucking World", you'll definitely gonna want to see this, both of them have some overarching/similar themes and nodes, whilst being vastly different at the same time. 

Although I don’t want to talk about the plot (because I want everyone reading this to have an equally exciting experience as I had), I will give you some more information. 

The acting is stellar, Anya Taylor Joy and Olivia Cooke are the driving force, going in perfect tandem with the overall unsettling tone of the film. Anton Yelchin also gave us a beautiful performance, which makes me even sadder about his death, since he was a wonderful actor with a bright future. 

Seriously though, I can not tell you enough about how quirky and stylized this director is. It’s something that can’t quite be described in words. I really hope Cory Finley enjoyed the world of movie making and will surprise us with more brilliant works of his. 

If I had to describe “Thoroughbreds” in one word, it would be - unconventional. So, if you like watching fresh movies, to see and experience new things, thoughts and emotions, this is a must!

#MovieReview #MaxWatchesMovies #Thoroughbreds

Black Panther (2018)

Fresh, bold, exciting and cool!

Due to the recent over saturation of the superhero genre, most of us have developed a fatigue to these movies by now and are tired of seeing the same old thing rehashed over and over again. 
This was my biggest concern walking into this movie, so I kept my expectations low even throughout all the praise that Black Panther has been getting. I didn't wanna see the same story for the 19th time.

Well, may you rest at peace because Black Panther is NOT that, it's an exciting, fresh take on all the tropes that we are so bored of. I would even go as far to say that it may be the most memorable and highest quality film Marvel has produced since Civil War. Sure, Doctor Strange was visually cool, Guardians was okay, Spiderman was better than other Spidermans and Thor was fun, but Black Panther stands out from the crowd. For the most part, it solves my biggest problem that 99% of superhero films struggle with, which is pointless and weak villains. The movie starts off with (super minor spoilers?) it's secondary villain, who is a familiar and exciting character that I really enjoy seeing on screen - Ulysses Klaue. He's fun, energetic, crazy, unpredictable and cool. But later as the movie is developing, a new brand of Marvel villain emerges, Killmonger. He has everything that modern villains lack - moral dilemma, comprehensive motivation, solid plan. You understand him and you sympathise with his reasoning, understanding why he has to do what he's doing. It's not your typical pure overpowered evil forces from outer space here to conquer for no reason. It's a human who wants to fix the world and do something right, someone who believes that they are doing good.

Also, I enjoyed that the conflict of the movie was scaled (for the most part) and we didn't see any "world ending" implications or over the top CGI laser spewing magic boss battles (that look more like a video game cutscene than a movie, I'm looking at you Justice League). Both Black Panther and Killmonger were equally matched. Nobody was overpowered. The stakes were set at the exact right level, which gives me really high hopes for the upcoming Avengers movie. I don't know if this movie necessarily will withstand the test of time but what I know for sure that I really enjoyed it. In fact, it's a great movie that could be watched as a stand-alone film outside of the MCU, that doesn't require previous knowledge of comic book lore.

From a cinematic standpoint, I really enjoyed that this movie mashes so many of the familiar things that you know and love and puts them in one movie and NAILS it. It doesn't feel forced but you feel the genuine love and care that was there behind scenes. You can tell that this was a movie made by people who like movies. There are moments where it feels like it could be a scene from the universes like James Bond, Fast and the Furious, Lion King, Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, Xena, Tron and a million other things and it feels good. It was an awesome and epic ride that made me feel like a kid again.

Other than a few cheesy jokes that felt a little bit out of place à la "hey there fellow kids", there is really nothing to nitpick. 
I have to applaud literally every single department that's worked on this movie - the cinematography, the special effects, the set design, costumes, music, sound design, acting, etc, all of it was top notch.

Overal, fantastic watch that's worth going to the theatre for. 
Also, for those who are concerned that this is a liberal aimed progressive movie that's gonna shove "social justice warrior" things down your throat? You're just plain wrong. It doesn't feel forced at all, in fact, it felt more natural than a LOT of movies that are coming out these days.

P/S

Better than Wonder Woman, which I also enjoyed.

#MovieReview #MaxWatchesMovies #BlackPanther

The Shape of Water (2017)

I would say this is the kind of film that's more of an experience rather than a movie. Walking out of it, it feels like you just had a really beautiful, odd and emotional dream.

Now I'm gonna warn you right away, this isn't a movie for everyone, but I think if you're the right kind of person for it, you already know that you'll like it. It's very art-house, it's very Guillermo Del Toro, it's very weird.

Overall I really enjoyed "The Shape of Water", it leaves you with a good fuzzy feeling in your heart. I loved seeing every frame of it since Guillermo has a very distinctive and stylized look and tone. He manages to create a real world but with a dash of magic and fairy tale to it. The cinematography was absolutely astonishing (especially the colours), set design/costumes/etc were fantastic, the creature was really cool and pleasant to the eye (good mix of practical and CGI), the acting was good (even though the Russian was iffy).

My only problem with the movie was the fact that it felt a little too long, I think a couple of tiny things could've been cut here and there and the movie would've been just as good. There's also a couple of things that felt unaddressed but as the viewer you let it slide and forget about them since you're focused on the main story.

Basically, if you knew about this movie and you were interested in seeing it, see it. If you don't know anything about it or the works of Del Torro, probably don't.

If I had to boil it down (egg joke) to a score it would be somewhere around 7.5/10

P/S

Do NOT see it with kids unless you want to have some VERY awkward moments.

#MovieReview #MaxWatchesMovies #TheShapeOfWater

I, Tonya (2017)

Everyone has been raving about this movie, so I had to go see it for my self. Now that I have seen it I honestly don't have much to say about it. 

This movie was interesting to watch, it was also educational because I was not familiar with the events that took place since I was young and living in a different country. "I,Tonya" doesn't really break any new grounds in filmmaking but it's a complete, enjoyable, entertaining and (for the most part) real story. 

The only thing that particularly stands out in this movie is Margot Robbie's absolutely INCREDIBLE performance as Tonya Harding. I think without her this movie couldn't exist or would fall under every radar. I really liked the style and the seamless blending of genres as well as the fourth wall breaking, it made it more unique. 

If you need to kill some time or you like movies about real people, this is a good choice. Definitely not the kind of movie you have to see on release in theatres, I'd say wait a few months and watch it in the comfort of your own home.

7.5/10

#MovieReview #MaxWatchesMovies #iTonya

Doctor Who - Twice Upon a Time - Christmas Special 2017

Last years Christmas special was one of the worst episodes of Doctor Who that ever happened, it made me fall out of love with the show. The Capaldi seasons had a few ups and many downs, even though Peter is an incredible doctor, the show was plagued with problems such as bad writing.

With all of that said, this was an absolutely beautiful and magical send-off. By far one of the best, emotional and meaningful Christmas Specials that have ever been made.

I was worried that the episode would pull the gimmicky two doctors plot but they managed to perfectly reason it, creating an incredible episode. I think “Twice Upon a Time” captures the best of the Doctor who essence. It’s a worthy goodbye to the Twelfth Doctor, Bill, and Steven Moffat as showrunner. 
The show is worth returning to on this high note.

Prepare to love it and cry a lot.

I am now once again excited to see the future of Doctor Who, with a new doctor and showrunner I’m sure we will see exciting changes and a new direction.

Merry Christmas and long live the Doctor!

#MovieReview #MaxWatchesMovies #DoctorWho #TV

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)

I was sceptically excited and scared upon the announcement of this sequel since the original movie has always been close to my heart and was a fond part of my childhood.

Going in, I wasn't quite sure how "Welcome to the Jungle" was going to tie itself into the universe and if I would like the new direction. It could've easily been an awful disaster, but I am happy to say that I thoroughly enjoyed this modern interpretation of Jumanji.

This movie knows exactly what it is and doesn't take itself too seriously, has good pacing and the perfect balance of action to character development. I was also surprised to see the amount of attention to detail, every plot is resolved by the end of the movie along with a majority of questions that you could ask. I thought the concept of the characters was interesting and unique and was utilized very well.

Additionally, if you've spent the past 22 years wondering what happened at the beach after the credits of Jumanji rolled, worry not, you will get your answer.

This sequel/spiritual successor has the perfect amount of nods and tie-in's into the original lore and handles that mission just as good as Jurassic World.

Overall a good action adventure story with a moral purpose and a core message.This is a fun pop-corn filled roller-coaster ride for any age. It's the kind of movie that you can join mid-way while flipping through the channels and stay tuned until the end. It doesn't quite have the magic of the original but maybe that's just because I'm getting old or maybe it's because the one and only Robin Williams isn't with us anymore.

You definitely can't go wrong with this one so feel free to take your kids/girlfriend/family to go see it. I promise you that you won't hate it as much as Star Wars (but that's a review for next week).

I give "Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle" a solid 7.5 out of 10.

P/S
The original Jumanji is actually criminally under-rated and somehow holds a minuscule 50% on Rotten Tomatoes.

#MovieReview #MaxWatchesMovies #Jumanji #WelcomeToTheJungle

Coco (2017)

Absolute joy for children and adults of any cultures.

Having not seen any Pixar movies since Brave came out, I wasn't sure where to set my expectations for this movie, so I was very surprised at how much I loved it.

One of my main concerns going into it was that I would either find the movie unrelatable or that it would serve the foreign culture in a social justice warrior manner. I was wrong. Very wrong. The movie is a natural insight into the Mexican culture (specifically the Day of the Dead) that is both engaging, interesting and inclusive. It doesn't feel like it's just Hollywood pandering to an audience, it doesn't abuse stereotypes of what the executives think people might like or want to see and most importantly they didn't whitewash the cast.

The premise alone is extremely unique and engaging, throughout the whole movie it kept me guessing what would happen next. It's fast-paced, colourful, the characters are very well thought through. I was most amazed at the quality of the animation, it's absolutely mind-boggling, every little tiny detail that you would never even notice is there. It all really feels like a work of art that celebrates the Mexican culture. I also really enjoyed the fact that it had a fresh story structure where the world isn't ending and the hero doesn't have to defeat the ultimate evil but rather focuses on human issues and values.

In fact, it's one of those rare movies that had me bawling my eyes out at the theatre.

Anyways, I wanted to keep this review short and not go into deep details because it's worth experiencing.

Coco is fun, emotional and fresh! If you like quality animation and feel good stories, you must go see it!

P/S

There are even some fun easter eggs that you might miss in a blink of an eye.

#MovieReview #MaxWatchesMovies #Coco

 

Justice League (2017)

A movie you've already seen a thousand times.

First of all, full disclaimer: I'm not a fan of DC, I have not seen BvS but I have seen Wonder Woman and Suicide Squad.

I honestly don't even know where to being with this mediocre overly generic movie. It wasn't good, nor was it bad. It was "meh". The best way I can describe is by calling it the "Spy Kids 3" of this film era. Kids love it, mildly entertaining with lots of crapy CGI that already looks dated.

The biggest problem at work here is the genre itself, we as viewers are so fatigued by the same superhero films that I'm gonna gouge my eyes out if I see a few more of these. We've got our boring two-dimensional heroes, going on a pointless quest against an evil CGI space dude who is out to destroy the whole world (or even galaxy) with his generic army of minions who make a big CGI explosion/thingy that the heroes fight at the end at night with a bunch of bright (usually red) CG particles (lava, goo, magic, the source of life in the universe, you name it).

This movie has some of the weirdest pacings I've ever seen, it's confusing, one second we're here, next second we're there. The editing may be even worse, often the jarring cuts take you out of the scene/movie and make absolutely no sense. I think this partially has to do with the fact that like 90% of this movie is CGI, all the camera angles are whack, actors aren't in the same room and the set is just a green screen, I mean what can you expect? I honestly don't understand this masturbatory overuse of CGI, why can't you drive to a damn cornfield and shoot on location? Why does it have to be all made inside a WB warehouse? Yes, I'm gonna complain about CG a LOT because it doesn't need to be that. DO we really need to shove dust/ambient fire/water particles into every scene? I understand that it's not supposed to be realistic but at a certain point, your brain hits a sensory overload and just zones out during the most crucial moments. It's basically like showing a baby a clip of a bunch of nonsense bright colours and they'll watch it for hours. This movie honestly feels like someone put together cut scenes from a video game.

Besides the bad camera work and editing, we have my personal favourite - awful dialogue. 
Most of the jokes are completely flat with a few exceptions that are failed by the absolute worst delivery in the world (as well as the awkward cuts that I mentioned earlier.) Also, I don't think I've ever heard humans talk like they do in this movie. One of my favourite dialogues in the movie was [Mild spoilers that aren't really spoilers because everyone knows this]: 
Superman and his GF finally reunite, she says to a shirtless Superman "You smell nice", to which he replies "Did I not before?" proceeded by an awkward silence in a wide shot and they begin holding hands. What the hell, who does that?! 
Another favourite stupid moment of mine was when Aquaman skates on a dead body similar to the infamous Legolas skating scene in LOTR.

The whole thing feels like a fever dream of an Artificial Intelligence machine generating a movie that hits every demand of the studio executives.

I would give this movie 6.5 out of 10, however, I have a special personal rule for point deduction - bad Russian. Yup, this movie just like every other one has horrible Russian accents, balalaika music in the background when showing us the unimportant Russian characters AND they drive a truck! There are no flatbed trucks in Russia. Do your god damn research Hollywood. Is it really that freaking hard to find 3 people who speak fluent Russian?

Overall, I expected nothing and I came out of the theatre with nothing. I didn't waste my time nor did I really enjoy it. It was kind of like I went to sleep for two hours and then woke up from a weird dream. To summarize, we had an unemotional soundtrack, bad pacing, flat acting, horrible dialogue and atrocious editing. With a couple of cool scenes.

Justice League leaves me with one question and one question only: Why does Superman leave chem-trails behind? Haha

My verdict - Instantly Forgettable 5.5/10

P/S

With all of that said I would like to acknowledge all the VFX teams because certain shots did look pretty damn incredible. VFX artists are some of the most overworked, underpaid, abused and unappreciated team members of a movie production, but without them, this movie wouldn't be possible. You guys did a good job.

#MovieReview #MaxWatchesMovies #JusticeLeague

Murder On The Orient Express (2017)

A perfect example of high budget crap. The only thing this movie gets right is the marketing. (Pat your selves on the back creative team behind that, you did a good job and are most likely responsible for 50% of the box office behind this movie.)
I felt as it was an absolute waste of my time.

This is a high budget movie, filled with top billing actors which are the only two saving graces of the film.

It all starts off with an extremely slow first act, filled with pointless character introductions and equally pointless CGI shots. Opening act feels as if someone watched a bunch of old movies thinks a movie is supposed to be but manages to entirely miss the point.

This movie has perhaps some of the worst writing I've seen since Suicide Squad and actually shares a lot of traits with it. An ensemble of famous people who play a bunch of over the top but flat and boring characters. It really is the Suicide Squad of non-superhero movies.

Out of like 13 people not a single character stands out or feels human. A bunch of loud douchebags. Everyone is written over the top and robotic. I can't blame it on the actors when the script is at fault but you could've just as easily cast Tommy Wiseau and have him run around and yell "I did nawt kill her, I did nawwt".
The whole plot revolves around a separate crime that we as an audience do not care about in the least. The main character Hercule (I had to look up the names to write this) feels like a cheap Sherlock Holmes and completely fails to portray the "careless genius" who is superior to everyone (also who reads Dickens, which makes it worse). They try to establish him as the greatest detective in an opening scene that is so basic and predictable that I as a viewer "solved the crime" minutes before the answer is presented, at which we were supposed to be impressed. The casting itself was terrible, they just shoved any A-lister who would say yes with a bonus of an unnecessary amount of bad accents. The rest of the characters were so forgettable I'm not even gonna bother telling you about any of them.

The mystery itself felt bland and disconnected. I did not feel engaged at all throughout the movie and kept looking at my clock. The murder, all the clues and revelations felt like they were just dragging out the movie. It was in fact so bland that the Doctor Who interpretation of The Orient Express was just as good if not better.

The movie tried to have some comedic moments most of which fell extremely flat. However, the biggest red flag for me was the fact that I was laughing out loud at some of the most serious and important scenes of the movie - including its revelation and conclusion. I mean there's nothing more hilarious than a character barging into a serious scene with a gun yelling "NO, IM THE KILLER!"

Finally, the conclusion of the movie was not only predictable and boring (ruined a great premise/twist though) but just downright stupid. It even featured a possible sequel set up. (Which isn't gonna happen cause this movie flopped). I could keep on ranting about how much I didn't like this movie for a long time, but I'll spare you from it. You want to hear the good? Well, the cinematography was pretty good, also the costumes were great. That's about it.

I also just realized that Kenneth Branagh both starred as the main character and directed the film, which requires me to say: not a great actor but a worse director. This crime is on him.

So, if you want to go see an excellent movie that features a train, go watch The Darjeeling Limited, thank Wes and I later.

P/S
What was up with that "Last Supper" shot near the end?
I sighed out loud at it.

⭐️⭐️ 5/10 - Maybe watch it on a plane if there's nothing better? - 5/10 ⭐️⭐️

#MovieReview #MaxWatchesMovies #MurderOnTheOrientExpress

Lady Bird (2017)

Absolutely loved it, this is exactly the kind of movie that I enjoy.

You can feel the creative spirit, that everyone was passionate and cared about this project, such a rare thing these days. "Lady Bird" is unique, quirky, funny, moving. If you like movies for being art and for being human and real. If you want a movie that isn't about brainless explosions and action. If you want a movie that makes you think and question and reflect. If all of those things sound good, then this movie is for you. There's something so special about the rare art of mid-budget indie films. It's the 1 in a 1000 movies that I always want/try to find. It has that magic that I feel when watching a Wes Anderson film for example or Amèlie, etc. I can't quite describe it in words. Just different. Good different.

Really curious what's next in store for Greta Gerwing (director/writer). Would love to see her land some huge project as a result, perhaps something like Captain Marvel? She'd be perfect. 
It makes me really happy seeing this movie get all the praise and set/break all the records for female directors and writers!!! 

I wish this film wasn't on a limited release because more people need to go see it!

Finally, my suggestion would be: don't read anything about it (ironic), don't watch the trailer, just go in blind as I did (or knowing as little as possible). That's truly the best way to experience movies like this.

Anyways, go watch it and let me know what you thought!

#MovieReview #MaxWatchesMovies #LadyBird